I’ve been trying and trying to swear off the Kardashian family. I really don’t want to be a part of their publicity machine, but when I saw the season finale of Kourtney and Kim Take New York sitting on my DVR I just couldn’t resist. I had to see how this whole divorce thing would play out. How do you tell someone you want to break up after 72 days of holy matrimony? After watching the episode, I felt the way I’d imagine you do after eating an entire pizza. Gross yet strangely content.

I truly believe that this show should be used as a form of pre-marital counseling. I know that many religious organizations have their own system, but they may want to consider adding this series into their regularly scheduled questioning about finances and children. They could just show a few episodes to engaged couples and say, “Do you think that this is how a marriage should be?” and if they say ,”Yes” then they’re not allowed to get married. I mean seriously. I know this marriage played out on reality TV, so a lot of it was probably done in various takes.  In one scene you could even see a piece of paper next to the door that said “Don’t enter or knock” which indicates the presence of crew and cameras but still…it couldn’t have been completely scripted, which means that Kim actually behaved this way. And that’s scary.

Here are a few things we can learn from the series finale of Kourtney and Kim Take New York:

When you marry someone you actually have to live together

Kim starts to panic and cry hysterically when Kris wants to move into her home in Los Angeles. She begs him to just send his stuff to Minnesota and then bring a small bag to her house instead of actually moving in. Clearly she is not grasping the concept that the days of two separate homes are over. Scott comes right out and says, “You do realize you’re married, right?” but apparently she doesn’t care. She doesn’t have room in her home for his things. Because, remember, it’s her home. He just lives in it. Or not, as the case may be. Kris suggests buying a new home together, or keeping her home and building a summer place in Minnesota. Nope. Just tears and panic and hair extensions. Clearly something is wrong here.

Newlyweds shouldn’t have the chemistry of people on a blind date

In a desperate attempt to save their fledgling union, Kim and Kris head out for date night together. I don’t know if the presence of the cameras makes this date night awkward, or if these two really have no chemistry but…oh. my. God. They sit there, pick at their food, and talk about how Kris wishes he could take a nap at the dinner table. It is painful to watch. Then Kim talks about how they had nothing to say to each other during dinner.

Don’t ask everyone you know for an opinion on your relationship

We see scene after scene of Kim on the phone with Khloe or talking with Kourtney or her mom. She’s out to lunch with this friend or that friend. She’s constantly talking to people about her unhappy relationship. When you’re having a relationship problem it can be really beneficial to get an opinion from someone who can act as an objective third-party. But when you start getting too many opinions involved, these thoughts can go from helpful to overwhelming really quickly. Call your mom or your sister or your best friend if you really, truly need assistance. Don’t call each one of them every single time you have a small crisis. Keep it simple.

Don’t surround yourself with “yes” people

Kim tells Kourtney about her issues with Kris and then freaks out when Kourtney says she’s being unreasonable about not wanting Kris to move in with her. Good for Kourtney for being honest. Kim should respect that honesty. You don’t want to surround yourself with people who always tell you what you want to hear. There’s no value in that kind of opinion anyway.

Complete opposites don’t attract

Kim talks about how she and Kris don’t have the same friends or hobbies. She emphasizes that they have nothing to talk about at dinner. This is a huge problem. Forget age or career path. If you have no similar friends or hobbies, or topics to discuss, then why are you together? You want to be with someone who makes you laugh, makes you think, and who enjoys spending free time the way you do (or at least in some of the ways you do). If you don’t have these basic elements then you don’t have much of a foundation for a relationship. Opposites attract. Definitely. But complete opposites with nothing in common are not a good match.

On paper is not real life

Kim talks about how Kris is everything she wants on paper because he’s good-hearted and is a Christian. But “on paper” and real life are not always the same thing. You need to look at your relationship for what it really is, not how it should be. Also, if you go by “on paper” you could be limiting yourself. For example, if you believe that you will only date blonde guys who are at least 6’2″, well that’s fine and dandy but maybe the perfect person for you is brunette and 5’10″. Then you’ll want to just take that paper and crumple it up as you live happily ever after.

Relationships require effort

I couldn’t believe how quickly the Kardashian-Humphries marriage dissolved. Looking back on it, I don’t know why I was so surprised. I knew it would happen eventually. But the speed shocked me. Again, I know that reality shows do not equal real life, but the show made it seem as if little to no effort went into saving the relationship. No talk of marriage counseling? They didn’t even want to try living together in their own house without Kim’s sister and her family? Nothing? A divorce is just easier? Oh, okay.

Don’t fake it

After Kim sits and sobs with Kourtney she then goes out to talk to Kris. I thought she was going to have a heart-to-heart with him about their crumbling relationship. Instead she tells him that they’re going to go out to eat and she’s sorry she was mean. I understand that it was probably not the best time to drop the divorce bomb. But how could you go from openly talking about divorce to just pretending that everything was totally fine? She should have let him know why she was upset and tried to talk to him about it. No need to discuss every gory detail and end the relationship right then and there, but at least clue him in so he’s not blindsided. Maybe talking to him and getting his opinion on the situation would provide clarity and a sense of calm for her.